One man, One woman army

Women’s protection officer Suneeta fights for women’s rights, raising awareness of gender discrimination in Haryana.

By Anna Kapsner and Talia McWright

Photo by Anna Kapsner

Suneeta stood in front of the Superintendent of Police. She asked him for help. One of her clients faced domestic violence. But instead of taking action and filing the correct legal forms, he wrote a note to the woman’s husband telling him to stop abusing his wife. This action was not enough.

“If you cannot respect women,” Suneeta said, “there is no point in coming to you.” 

Suneeta, 47, has been a women’s protection officer in Haryana for 10 years. She oversees the Kaithal and Jind districts and runs the OneStop Center. She works 9 to 5, but if it means making sure her clients are safe, Suneeta will work until midnight. In 2022 alone, Haryana documented 1,362 cases of violence against women, and the numbers are increasing. And many incidents go unreported in this traditional northern state.

“I fight for women,” Suneeta said. “I make her aware of her rights. That’s what makes me the happiest.”

Suneeta says violence against women goes beyond physical actions and includes mental, emotional and exploitative abuse. Once, a woman came to Suneeta because her husband was following her to and from work. Her employers and neighbors doubted her character due to her husband’s lack of trust, affecting her mental health and social standing.

Another time, when Suneeta was a new mother, a woman came to her office holding a hungry 6-month-old baby in her arms. Suneeta fed the baby her own breast milk.

Another woman cried in her office for hours, tired of her husband’s lack of respect and care. He was her second marriage and although she was in her 50s, she was expected to cook, clean and care for a family that was not her own.  

“That’s why I want to work for women,” Suneeta said. “Because they cannot make their own decisions. Firstly, when they are born, their parents rule their life. They always make decisions for them. And when they go to university, their brothers take protection of them. After that, when they get married, their husbands rule their lives. That’s why working for women is really important.”

Suneeta remembers getting her period in seventh grade, the day of her brother’s wedding. Because she was bleeding, she was not allowed to attend. Due to the stigma surrounding menstruation in India, her family made her sleep in another room and said she was not allowed to touch food in the kitchen. She says this memory was the first time Suneeta was told being a woman made her impure. She’d never forget. 

“I’m waiting for my daughter’s period,” Suneeta said. “I’m going to celebrate it.”

Photo by Anna Kapsner

Suneeta says she is raising her 12-year-old daughter Aratia to create her own boundaries and expectations. Aratia’s marriage, education and life will be her own choice.

“I teach my daughter to say ‘no,’” Suneeta said.

When Suneeta was pregnant with Aratia, her community hoped for her baby to be a boy. The birth of a boy represents freedom, stability and opportunity, and when a healthy baby girl was born, there was no celebration. Even the women in her community were disappointed. Suneeta explained that women are convinced of men’s superiority and cannot see that by playing into the culture of gender discrimination, they are becoming their own enemies.

“I fight for women. I make her aware of her rights. That’s what makes me the happiest.”

“Men have played with our mentality a lot,” Suneeta said.

Suneeta believes that these cultural values are subject to change, because when one woman takes a stand, others follow. Her job has allowed her to experience this in action. Suneeta has become close friends with many of her clients, finding strength in their womanhood.

“My plan is to fight for women even if I retire,” Suneeta said.